Ditched the Tournament

Something terrible happened today.  The tournament was scheduled for 3:00 pm.  At 1:42 I receive a text message from Nizi, all in Korean, saying that she was sick and couldn't make it today.  Of course, I immediately call her, but no one picks up.  I call Jinny, my hairdresser to speak with her and ask about just how sick she is.  According to Jinny, she was a bit rude and insisted that she was sick.

What can you do in a situation like this?  I'm shocked.  I still went to the tournament to size up the competition, the same competition that we WOULD HAVE gone against.  And, while watching them I was thinking how we COULD HAVE taken this round decisively.  At this very moment I'm still trying to figure why Nizi would do something like this.  I've practiced so hard.  Every competitor in the entire country of Korea has been training for this open tournament.

I have to rule out the possibility that I was putting too much pressure on Nizi.  How I would come to her bar about three times a week just to shoot a quick set with her.  And I have been noticing how she would avoid me more and more each time I was there.  The past two weeks she would flutter her eyes, in an annoyed way whenever she was forced to speak  in English.  All these clues lead me to believe that there was a point when she didn't want to compete anymore.  I just don't buy that she was sick.  It could have been anything, really.

Last night, Korea won their opening game against Greece.  The streets were lined with red shirts chanting and celebrating the 2-0 victory.  Was Nizi out late drinking and partying?  Maybe fucked some dude and slept over until it was too late for the tourny?

Is it even worth trying to know why?  It's so hard to swallow all of this.  I mean, I have been drinking heavily during this training session.  Is this a sign of some sort by God?  I am thinking about mom, and I've used darts to focus my energies away from her condition.  My house is messy.  Motivation for work is not high as last year.  I'm confused....

As for Sophia and Bruce, their baby boy Trevor aka Lychii, was born on June 9, 2010.  Darling, darling~~ so awesome!!  What a new beginning for them- the changes.

As for darts, I'm not going to hang them up just yet.  The last text message I sent when Nizi wasn't picking up was this:

WE CAN WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!