Ranting ranting...

My summer vacation begins today.  Last night was a disaster because I realized how much of a fool I am.

Going to be turning 33 in 4 weeks and really, I have nothing to prove any kind of progress.  No one to really share anything with, and yet I smile. This blog has turned into an online diary when the real purpose was to be proficient in Korean dishes as well as being able to describe the food in Korean.  The result, 7 months later, a few dishes cooked and dozens upon dozens of ranting~  not all of it.  Some cool experiences were documented.

Bills are being paid and many folks back States side are unemployed.  Glad to have a decent paying job here, and in good health overall.

Darts have been an obsession of mine for the past three months.  Definite progress in that world.  As for the liver and kidneys, they have surely taken a toll.

On dating:  Well, I have met a few short lived ones- dead ends.  And now, Dionne Warwick sings the truth of it all... 'just walk on by...'  And why do I still smile?  It's the comedy of it all.  The comedian Chris Rock said, 'You ever have your woman just looking at you, being silent.  Well, you know what she's thinking, right?  She's thinking, how the fcuk did I get stuck with this guy!  God, please strike him down while I can still get another man, please!"  His point being that you'll never be her first choice, ha ha..

A quick look back:  A decade ago I was finishing my final term in University.  NY was the destination shortly after.  What a world of difference now.  So yes, there has been progress and whenever I talk to someone in their mid-20's I see their needs right away.  It's a bit hard to describe~ but in real time I see it.

The plant at my desk will bloom orange flowers in three months.  It's so green and the waxy leaves are pushing out reaching for something... anything.  It's growth, the direction is up up up.  So therefore, look up, it's there... It always has been.

------------------------
what type of day is this
with two shining suns
a day beyond and above
every day known
a whirling cosmos is endowing
and calling everyone on earth
good news to those in love
call today your own

--Translation by Nader Khalili
Rumi, Dancing the Flame
Cal-Earth Press, 2001

...

You have nothing on me, god damn it!
absolutely nothing, you hear me... so say it...
isn't it predictable, say it, go ahead...

...work for what?

My shoulders are arched
one too many to drink, maybe.
What's it worth?
Caves~
An arch which reaches for something that isn't there.
An inspiration that only a friend that knows.
Talent isn't worth anything without work...
And I press it harder against these two shoulders b/c it's gone!
I am.... nothing

Restle with it...
Jump!
The sky is at it's knees... yes for who know the angle of it all.
Fuck you a thousand ways, where are you now?
Where???  You only wanted what you saw...
And what's left, is fuck you in every corner of this cube... yes, fuck you reading this.

You want a godkdamn picture...
Then it's here, close a lid and smell the rotten... of most greenest apples,
reach for that , it sure is... I'll take only a glimpse... and now it's gone
and tears are wasted on something that wasn't there...
nothing... absolutely nothing.. nothing~~

Be happy with what you have... suppose~
bottom is the beginning.
a millionaire gone mad and now sleeps smelling his piss and socks at a wall
his own wall.... and did I say, was it worth a night of morning laziness?
The coldest, coldest coldest most frigid of bergs, and you are nothing,
yes you you you you, crumple it, up up up.
the hell with you, all of it.... nothing meaningless. naught!~

And what the hell are yuo looking at bastard.... what!
Enough

level up~

got it, finally~

took it on the road and didn't shoot it with the same mundane competition.
no longer the general of this shooting class.
level up~ a big pat on the back!

Lowercases of random periods~

Always have used the fable of the turtle and the hare when thinking of life.
What would humankind do without their ability to walk?  Our feet have proven to make us a unique creature.  Unlike apes and chimpanzees, a species who we always relate ourselves to as an early form of, we don't have feet which allow us to climb trees.  We walk up and down the aisles of foodways.  We chase after a ball that's out of play.  You're late, better double step it. 

What are you running from Haru?  What did I tell you about listening to that late night radio show- Invaders from Kibershaw? 

But they're in the closet.  I heard them scratching and crawling around in der.  They krept through the window when I was dreaming of that rainbow foot bridge I read about in Thor issue #201.  I found your old comics when you left the stairs to attic drawn. 

You mean you climbed up to the attic all by yourself?  You're one curious rugby babybee!  We better not make too much noise 'cause your mom is filing her toes for tomorrow's foot shoot.  Let's get some rest now, tomorrow is your first day at school and you don't want to be late. 

Ya, and we gonna eat blueberry pancakes and soymilk encrusted toast buns, and...


Enough babybee, you better relax or else forget about falling asleep. 
------------------------------------

At the edge of the minefield Heathrow and Tinshaw plan their way across. 
'Life would be fucking easier if we all had wings', mutters Tin a cigarette jitters up and down with every resounding syllable of what really is his fear of it all.
'Look, Charlie left a trail on the south end of the river.  Those bastards want us to follow the west end of the bank because it's easier to cross.  That means if we get our boots wet for a few clicks in that direction we'll have a chance to flank'em come sunset.' 
Tinshaw felt his gut spinning, a sure sign that Heathrow was right yet again.  The last time he felt his bowls flushing was during his wedding with Chasity.  His folks were all toasting when all of a sudden he saw something in her right shoulder that he never noticed before in their three years of being sweethearts.  Her right side was slightly smaller~ awkwardly smaller, as if she carried wood in her youth like a Chink slave girl would to keep their house warm.  We favor parts of our bodies- limbs, eyes, the way we scratch our groins...  Shit, it bothered him.  Three months later, helicopters are buzzing around him with marks on his shoulder- 8th Platoon-A bachelor in Nam'.

네 나와바리 -- My Neighborhood

Chickens were selling like crazy yesterday at the grocery store.  2,000 won for a whole chicken.  Today is a special day in Korea because- today is the first of the three hottest days of Summer.  So, Koreans eat Samgyae-tang- a chicken soup that is steeped in insam (ginseng) and dried jujubees.  The bird is stuffed with rice and boiled whole, one chicken per person. 

The size of the chicken is about the size of a cornish hen.  The aroma is quite therapeutic.  There are variations to Samgyae-tang which includes even adding powdered deer antlers.  Eastern medicine is a mystery to me, but I suppose a more mature palette tolerates bitter flavors.  Credit the cook who can transform bitterness into something delightful, ha!

Well, my lease ends on August 31st.  I've decided to move out of Venturetel Apartments.  The vaulted ceilings will be missed.  I'm excited, 3 apartments in 2 years and I didn't even have to lift a finger in moving, everything is taken care of by the movers.  I'm asking for an apartment that has gas burners.  If I move into another flat, then I'll have another perspective of the neighborhood.  Gunpo, Dangdong-- this is my neighborhood for real! 

5:23 am Take Aim

Rain doesn't stop the cab driver from taking daring turns at speeds of 145 km/ hr.  We are in route to Gyeonggi-do from metro Seoul.  I decide to flag a cab after a night of dinner and a movie with a camp friend from back in the winter.  It's rainy season and the streets are lined with umbrellas~ mostly black, a few shades of sunshine here and there.

The cab ride back to the neighborhood makes my palms sweaty from the speed of it all.  City taxis drivers are probably a bit desensitized from possible dangers which may happen from speeding, wet roads and hydroslides, just one mistake at that speed and bam!  All else equal, yeah right.  What if another driver screws up, and tailing or cutting someone at that speed, just forget-about-it...geez am I getting old or what?!

The dart bar has a few shooters, mostly regulars...quiet for a Saturday night.  I take a seat and shoot a decent shot~ a little under the average but decent.  The bartender YJ tells me of a tournament tomorrow at S-Bar in Suwon.  I've been to the joint one time, and I know the owner and the top players there.  Everyone from my home bar is going to compete there tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon.  "Stars" players are probably, most likely going to show up and dominate, but I'm going to enter...

A schedule conflict if I go because of a dinner party I suppose to cook for tomorrow is for 7 o'clock.  If I go to the dart tournament at 3 and do well, that will leave me about two hours of cooking time.. pretty close.  I'll make a decision tomorrow when I wake up.  But for now,  while the sun is up and the back of my throat smells like beer and cigs, I wonder....  what is all of this for?

What a night, good dinner nice movie great company... afterwards a nice round of darts, meet some leaders in the ESL business, I win the games and yet still feel like a rookie at darts,.. I show off in pocketball... I yawn to an early morning... sweet dreams to all

a lost dart and a new set~

My dealer in Ouiwang sold me a great set of darts~~ Assassin brand 80 percent tungsten, 18 ounces of pure thunder.  I'm shooting bulls consistently.  Traveling around the city wondering if it's all new found luck... but no, I found the weight, tip, shaft and flight that suits the way it should be for me.


What does it all mean without a competitive tournament to enter?  Well, it doesn't matter for now.  I'm good at this.  And, even at the cost of my kidneys, people are watching... and I'm hitting the button.  What a feeling.  Good night to all.  Summer classes start in three weeks and I have some work to do.

For the summer break... My bike will take me along the river to the pool.  Who knows what will happen...
For now the summer heat travels into the night.  The only comfort sits next to my purple bed~ Spring Snow, a novel.

Pro player with a need for speed~

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to meet Jessica.  She's a pro pocket-ball player whose been playing the game for 10 years.  We met at a friend of a friend's house warming dinner party.  All the Koreans that attended (8 of them) all lived in Queens, New York for some time.

Jessica and her boyfriend own a motorcycle shop.  She's quite the looker and seems to get along better with men than with women.  I don't think she has many friends in Seoul, but her connections from playing pool span the world.  She isn't very happy here, although she says that she eventually wants to move back to Queens.  Jessica misses NYC because the people there love her.  She has her friends there.  She's well respected in the pool halls.  So with that said, I wanted to pick her brain about being really good at something.

I was curious about when exactly she knew she was good at pool.  I wanted to know just how influential talent is in sports.  Does someone know early that they are good, or does it come later after years of training?  Minus the hard work and all the specifics, I wanted to test the belief that all rocks are masterpiece sculptures.  The artist recognizes this, and their job is to chisel away the parts that aren't needed. 

I make her laugh when she asks me if I've ever had a Korean girlfriend, as if Korean ladies are some unique being.  The gentle creases along her eyes are beginning to come out, and I'm sure she recognizes this in the morning.  Her only anchor to Korea, according to her is her boyfriend.  Anyhow, her answer was that she knew early.  She beat everybody, all her friends and just loved playing pool.  It wasn't until she stopped playing for awhile, questioning what she wanted to do, that the first thing that came to mind was pool.  And of course, she went to the pool halls of NY and just started to play, making connections and learning the specifics.

Man!  I love meeting hawks.  The lone birds who cry out to the brilliant sky when all else is a sleep or trapped by the flock.  Of course I wasn't looking for an answer from Jessica.  I just wanted to fly with her for a bit.

July~ Wonder & Rain

I spent Monday to Wednesday at a teachers conference.  ESL instructors from all of Gyeonggi-do were bused to a compound for training and an exchange of ideas.  Teachers who have been here for 1 month to 10 years attended.  We were broken up into groups depending on your years taught.  I was in the 2-3 year mark.  Overall the event was super helpful.  Of course there was heavy beer drinking at the end of the night, and it kinda' reminded me of my college years.

At the training we were responsible for delivering a ten minute lesson to our colleagues.  I was partnered with Kevin D~ who happens to be the leader of the drinking party boys.  I first met Kevin at the Cheongyang Winter Camp last year.  We roomed together, and had a chance to get to know each other.  He likes his boos and is crazy about women.  Underneath his hairy body though, he's a muffin, a cool guy though that isn't selfish.  Kevin and I got first place in the lesson competition.  I made the lesson and he delivered the first 5 minutes and I closed shop with the last 5 minutes.  We did well, although the opening slide I had a grammatical error (which I corrected on the spot)-  no worries!  It's all for fun.

As for the weather, it is rainy season.  Needing to seriously buy some galoshes~ maybe a pair of army green ones.  This weekend..

As for ma, she's in good condition.  Her neurologist has ruled out MS, thank God, and has to do another MRI.  All these freaking tests!  But again, at least the major concern has been eliminated.  So why are her mornings still filled with  pain in her shoulder and hip?  Is it just the aging process?  I wonder...

So the rain falls, and lunch is in an hour.  The students are excited about summer vacation.  Their eyes are a bit tired from studying for their final exams.  They come home from their institutes late at night, some return home around 11:30pm...  Let's keep it easy and fun until the end of the term.

Homeboys

Last year, the After School students consisted of 15 girls and 2 boys.  The two boys were romantics who had interesting imaginations.  They wrote stories about heart break, they had a sense of humor and were just good kids.  이반석 just wrote about whatever was on his mind.  In class he got along with people, but wasn't sure if it was alright to sit alone.  When it came to creating stories, he wanted me to read it but not to see it until it was finished.  I admire his concentration.  나동수 is a handsome lad with an unusually raspy voice, as if he smoked since child birth.  He was pretty silent most of the time, but his contribution was his analysis.  He gets the right answers.  And his friends in his homeroom class all look so mopey.  But when these two got together they would play, throw a ball made of crumpled paper and tape.  Although they are not in the same homeroom, they are homeboys.  They are friends. 

I think I see a possibility of making some friendships here, making homeboys.  My workout mate is a Korean who lived in the Midwest most of his life and speaks as if he was an American.  He can't speak a lick of Korean.  He's athletic and has the attitude.  My New Zeland, dart mate is a bit of a loner and most important is loyal.  He has an amazing way to meet Korean girls and is just cheesy.  Both are named John.  It's so fucking weird.  But I want us to all hang out.  I think it'll work.  We cause some ruckus around town and just have a good time. 

What about me in this possible trio?  Well~besides being the gastronomique... I throw the party, baby. 
And here I am responding to personal ads on Craigslist, Seoul.  It's funny. 

Quick thoughts before a casual shoot~

Shooting for an early night tonight.  It's 6:38pm.  I'm going to meet one of the guys that won the tournament 2 Sundays ago in Suwon.  It's totally new territory and am looking forward to exploring it.  The name of the joint is S-Bar.  The owner has her picture up of her shooting darts.  And for some reason, I recognize her closed form shot sequence from somewheres, but I just can't place it.  They seem to idolize her.  As for this young cat that I'm meeting, he's lived in Queens, Brooklyn and has a nice youthful pop to him.  I'm playing for fun, but would like to score high on the charts tonight.

Just cooked a quick meal:
Protein........  2 Eggs, fried medium well with a crispy bottom.
Carb...........  Fried rice with gochujang and seaweed.
Vegetable.... 6 branches of big size bok choy in mustard sauce.
Drink...........  12 oz Cass Beer.
It was delicious, a bit of a gourmet college feel to it.  Should last for the night, though.